Repent

Everyday peacemaking begins with repentance. The more I seek to live out  peace, the more aware I become of my own violence. I’m not always kind to people. I’m not as patient as I should be. I’ve said things to my kids that I regret. When people insult me, I want to insult back. And this is fundamentally a heart issue. Every unkind word and action against my fellow human is a reflection of the darkness within me. They are the manifestation of sinful thoughts and attitudes I’ve left unchecked, now inflicting real damage to my own personhood and the people around me. If I do not plead for the Holy Spirit to convict me of this sin and to move my consciousness toward the pursuit of holiness, inside and out, peacemaking will be a lofty but unattainable goal.

Scripture challenges me to live at peace with all people (Rom. 12:18, 14:19; Heb. 12:14), and this requires both a new step forward and a confrontation of my past. I need to confess my own anger, my lack of control with my words, my unkindness to others--first to God and then to the person I’ve injured--before I can truly pave a new path. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve had to go back to and say, “I care about you and I’m sorry for what I said. Will you forgive me?” With my husband and children, this is often a daily practice.

This is the first step for everyday peacemakers. We must be humble and know when to apologize because we are not always in the right.

Repair

Second, everyday peacemakers care about broken relationships. Despite the pain that's been inflicted on you, despite what that other person did or said, healing is still possible. Jesus has made that possible.

For many years, I carried a deep wound from a person who had caused horrible pain in my life. The evil done against me was all I could think about, and I cared about little else than trying to expose this person and achieving (punitive) justice. It was paralyzing, consuming my thoughts and keeping me in a state of continual emotional exhaustion. Those were some of the darkest years of my life. But, because of Jesus, I’ve been able to find peace. The person never apologized to me, and the situation remains largely unresolved, but I learned to forgive and allow God to wash a healing balm over my heart and soul. We must be humble and know when to apologize because we are not always in the right.

In her "Shalom Sistas Manifesto," pastor Osheta Moore describes everyday peacemakers as “creative allies, nurturing comforters, and safe harbors for the weary in our communities” who “look past the pain in order to see the person, in order to restore their humanity, in order to tell better stories about them—redemptive stories, nuanced stories, empathetic stories.” Part of what allowed me to seek forgiveness and restoration of that relationship was seeing the image of God in the other person (Gen. 1:26-27). I humanized them, finally saw the pain in their own life, and I learned about the ways that hurting people end up hurting others. It’s not an excuse for their actions, but it helped me have a deeper understanding, and this shift in views empowered me to choose love, even when the other person did not.

The same is true for broken systems. When a community is set ablaze by police brutality and national protests, or when churches are torn apart by theological differences, everyday peacemakers prioritize healing and a desire to rectify the situation. This too is part of our ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-20). We must hold to a holistic view of peace that can see the pains in interpersonal relationships as well as societal injustice and actively seek restoration in both by pointing to Christ. It’s not an either/or but a both/and. We call out the problems, but we also work toward solutions and build better systems that honor God and further his kingdom.

Remain

Finally, I’ve learned that peacemaking is a commitment for the long haul. Many times, our approach to the problems in the world is to diagnose, solve, and then walk away. Unfortunately, this approach, keeps us in the posture of a hero; it keeps us in the place of power. Choosing to remain, on the other hand, and to see things through over years of time, requires us to be faithful and patient. There are no quick fixes or fast solutions to real and lasting peace. Rather, peacemakers know how to linger, how to invest, and how to accept real cost (1 Pet. 3:11).

I can’t just post an interesting graphic on social media or attend a meeting on racism and think that’s enough. Everyday peacemaking is an ongoing process that’s gritty, subversive, relational, practical, and creative. It’s a lifestyle, not an elective, that believes in real yet slow transformation of people and structures. It’s not enough to apologize to someone and then never talk to them again. It’s not enough to call out racist rhetoric or seek to remove a toxic leader from power. You have to be there to also teach what loving, biblical language looks like, what servant leadership is, and how to cultivate healthy environments for all people to flourish.

These types of things don’t happen overnight, which is why peacemaking has to be a central discipleship component of following Jesus. Our theology should fuel rather than restrict our pursuit of peacemaking and renewal. And, if we’re truly committed to this, we should begin to see the ways in which our lives begin to transform over time as well. Everyday peacemakers prioritize healing and a desire to rectify the situation

Each and every one of us can participate in everyday peacemaking. We can do this as we pursue cosmic peace--peace with God, with ourselves, and with others-- because God has made this possible. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” Will you answer his call to be one who contends for the holistic repair of relationships in the everyday contexts of our lives? Will you choose to repent, repair, and remain?

3 Questions for Everyday Peacemakers:

1. What do you need to confess to God in prayer today? Is there anyone you need to apologize to?

2. What relational bridges can you start building right now? In what ways can you help build better systems and seek solutions to the pains in our society?

3. What is one tangible way that you can commit to faithful peacemaking? What is one way for you to linger with someone or some issue in our society to ensure everyone involved gets healthy and stays healthy?